Posted 4 hours ago
Posted 4 hours ago

littlemsmeanie:

lanashiftdelrey:

smashing your pinky toe and trying to act cool like

image

So true!!!

Posted 4 hours ago
Posted 8 hours ago

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

Posted 9 hours ago
Posted 9 hours ago

mouldy-sandwich:

when you get called up to talk in front of the classimage

Posted 9 hours ago

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

Posted 9 hours ago

theperksofbeing-kate:

its-tuesday-again:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH STRAIGHT BOYS

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.

Posted 9 hours ago

silohouettes:

The difference between period pains and getting kicked in the balls is that one is a compulsory monthly event and the other one is probably because you were being a dick.

Posted 9 hours ago

magnezone:

kinomatika:

wellmanicuredman:

sextus—empiricus:

sunshien:

ahahhahaha what the fuck is wrong here is the siren damaged or something.  I’ve heard this exact siren before but never all creepy like this

actually the reason the siren sounds like that is because it’s echoing through the tall buildings of downtown chicago!

jesus, fuck this 

(Source: simulatedcity)